SMC Online Doula Training – August 2026
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Birth Story
Birth Story
Surprise it’s a Girl: An unlikely journey of Self-discovery through the birth of my daughter.
I believe becoming pregnant and giving birth to my daughter, 45 years ago, set me on a magical course of self-discovery and spiritual awakening.
In 1979, I began dating my daughter’s father. While we both had gone to the same high school I didn’t know who he was until we met while attending the local Junior College aka Pasadena City College.
I was a Cheerleader, studying business and he was studying to be an airplane technician. I’d chosen business, not because I was interested, because it was what my high school Counselor told me to pursue. . . and it allowed me to be a College Cheerleader. LOL
After a year of dating we broke up and decided to go our own separate ways.
In the early spring of 1981 we met up at a friend’s party. We talked, danced and drank wine coolers (lol) all night. When the party was over he invited me to his place.
I won’t go into every detail, but that was the night my daughter was conceived to Tom Browne’s song “Funkin’ for Jamaica”.
After about a month I missed my period which had never happened. I was regular as rain in the winter. I went to Planned Parenthood to have a pregnancy test and it was positive.
So there I was 19 years old, single, living with my momma nem’ (Disabled Step-father, 9 year old younger brother and 3 year old sister) and pregnant.
Believe it or not, I was elated. That was until I had to tell my Mom who, as I said, had just had her last baby three years prior.
My mom’s reaction to my pregnancy was one of deep despair. I immediately felt her disappointment in me. It may have been the reason I didn’t tell my daughter’s father until my daughter was a month old.
<font face=”inherit”>Yes, the sad truth is my daughter’s father was not involved with my pregnancy or the birth of his first child. It was very unfortunate that during that time</font><font face=”inherit”> fear of disappointing people was the driving force when it came to my decision making.</font>
My pregnancy was somewhat of an interesting nine months. I had severe morning sickness until I was 7 months pregnant. I only gained 15 pounds during my entire pregnancy. But I was still so happy at the thought of welcoming a baby into my life. It felt like something special was on the horizon.
Up until that point, I’d been a reader of mostly sci-fi books and some biographical novels. Nothing that particular pertained to my present life circumstances. Yet, something prompted me to read books on pregnancy and birth.
Looking back, I can see that that was the first time I had an inkling of “living my life with intention”. I guess you could say it was the start of my believing I could “possibly” shape my own path, i.e., have agency.
I decided to use the Bradley Method of Childbirth. I chose this technique because it was touted as ” Unmedicated natural birth with a Coach”. Now that may sound an unlikely choice given I hadn’t told her father of my pregnancy and he was not involved. Perhaps I chose it because it gave me a way to show my mom that I was serious about taking care. I was beyond ecstatic that she agreed to be my coach, which was not a simple task. My Mom worked swing shift and had 2 young kids to look after and my step-father was disabled.
<font face=”inherit”>Throughout my pregnancy, at each ultra sound appointment, I was told my baby was a boy. But on January 3rd, 1982 I had a 6lb 8oz beautiful baby girl with the support and </font>coaching<font face=”inherit”> of my mom, Surprise!!</font>
Once I told my daughter’s father he was very happy that he had a daughter.
Just two months after giving birth, I went to work at a medical supply manufacturing plant. It happened to be right next door to the Pharmaceutical plant my mother had worked at for 20 plus years. I worked mornings from 7am-3pm and she worked swing shift from 4:30pm until midnight. We would hand off the kids, from car to car, as she started her shift.
That worked well for about 2 1/2 years. But something just didn’t feel right for me. I was bored and unhappy with the work. I had mainly taken the job because of the proximity to my mom’s work place.
it was at that point I received good news. I had been on the waiting list for subsidized housing and my number was called.
Once we secured an apartment, I decided to work less and attend junior college part-time.
While attending the community college I met my mentor, Melva Newman. She was an LCSW. She had a therapy practice during the day and taught parenting classes a few nights a week.
I was so fascinated by my mentor’s genuine love and support of the community. At her suggestion, I decided to attend the junior college full-time..
Two years later, after graduating with an AA degree in Psychology, I transferred to the University of California at Santa Cruz… And I took my baby to college with me. We actually lived on the college campus in Family Student Housing using my subsidize housing voucher. Surprise!
I completed my B.A. in 3 years and we then moved to Oakland California.
Fast forward eight years, my daughter graduated from Berkeley High School and got a full scholarship to her first choice college, Grambling State University in Louisiana, majoring in Sociology.
She and I both went on to obtain our Master’s degree.
I believe becoming pregnant and giving birth to my daughter, 45 years ago, set me on a magical course of self-discovery.
-Gogo
- 1 Reply
Wow this is an incredible story. Thank you so much for sharing. That is so blessed and incredible that your mother was your birth companion. And so wild that you had a surprise girl! That is such a blessing. I’m so glad you were able to grow together so beautifully, it must feel so wild to see her so ambitious and successful. You guys must be very close. Your story is so resilient and authentic.
What did you get your masters in?
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